(Get inside Black’s head in pages 8+9 of chapter 25)

My ear is ringing…
I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.
my nostrils are so small to the amount of air I need to take in.
why do I have my lips closed at this moment.
I could breathe in more air but, yet they’re closed.
Why I wonder…
Intense ear ringing…
my tears are falling quickly, burning the skin as they trail over my cheeks and make a landing on my hand…
it’s trembling… badly…
my arm is broken… and I should be feeling immense amount of pain using it as the limb to carry all of my body weight…
I want to lean forward and rest my head.
over that darkness in front of me.
My ear is still ringing…
One ear is ringing, the other is taking in every word my best friend is showering at me.
did he just say
“he wouldn’t have come back?”
did he really…
come back…
only,
for good?
should I be happy?
that he wants me saved?
that he wants to help me?
that he believes that I’m changing for the good?
that he doesn’t think I’m beating him, abusing him the way that person did?
I should be happy,
shouldn’t I?
My ear– is ringing…
White’s really angry.
He hit me,
and he’s really furious…
and I…
I…
My ear is ringing…
my body is tired…
my heart is fast beating…
my eyes are burning and I’m listening…
I…
I want to rest my head…
please?
do continue to talk…
I want to know all that you have to say.
I want you to let it all out
I really want to,
but can you give me a bit of that strength you have.
I want to stay up and take in every word
I want to understand you, you know.
but my head is small and I’m not as smart as you.
I need my rest first, then I can listen,
closely.
can you just…
can I just…
I want to lay my head down…
.
.
.
please…
White…?
I need you to…